My daughter has gymnastics on Saturdays, however, we had a lot going on over the past few months and she ended up missing a significant number of lessons. Her first day back, my wife gets home and tells me she had a really hard time and that she got sad. Why? Well, the usual teacher wasn’t there and the substitute was not as inept at keeping track of a bunch of roaming children and my daughter had got left behind on several occasions. The owner apologized to my wife and explained the situation with the substitute, but was it her fault? I wouldn’t say so…This is a prime example of a teachable moment, and one that couldn’t have occurred in a better place. (An enclosed building with limited exits and a controlled environment with plenty of safety precautions in place…its a gymnasium after all, with loads of soft mats and foam pits). After getting the entire story from my wife, I moved to my daughter. I like to hear things from her so it gives her the opportunity to express he...
Why?! The one, single word question that gets burned into our minds. It’s one of those things that we are all too happy and willing to answer the first few times and then it starts wearing on us. Why? Why? Why?
Many times, I find myself reverting to google in an attempt to encourage my daughter to never settle for the first response she hears but rather look deeper into something in order to find alternate explanations. OR…it’s simply because I have no idea what the answer is for the question she’s asking.
We love providing the answers to our children so they can learn and develop but sometimes you get to the point where you can no longer answer and you are simply stuck in a loop of constant Why’s.
It is very tough to break the why loop, or at least it is for me. I actually could not do it. Until my wife suggested returning the question, and asking our daughter Why. Why did she think trees grew tall? Or dogs lick their butt? Not only does this technique offer you some reprieve, but it gives your child the opportunity to consider what makes sense to them and to find a solution to their question. Although their reasoning may be completely out of this world, it is providing them with critical thinking skills- a rare attribute in these current times.
I guess the big question for us, is how long do we continue to answer? Our children are curious, and if we don’t provide them with that food for thought while they thirst for knowledge at a young age we risk alienating them from that curiosity. I have to imagine, once you’ve exhausted your reasoning and understanding and/or possibly attempted to research the topic for clarification, that might be an acceptable moment to turn the conversation to them and allow them to think of a good solution.
In doing so we get the best of both worlds. We’ve (hopefully) provided them some clarity followed by giving them the opportunity to use their reasoning and logic to justify something.
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